Better

First, let me just say thank you for the sweet comments on my last post. i was really struggling. Mistress has been very kind the last day or two and so encouraging. It has really helped me get through this.
 Right now for Mistress and me it is just a waiting game. We have our sights set on a goal. We are working on it with all Our hearts, minds, and souls. Even though We have to wait just a little bit, i know the end is here and happiness will reign.
Don't worry. i am not thinking pie in the sky. i know life is not perfect. But, Mistress and i know what We want and it will make Us much happier than We have been in the past. SO excited!!!

Why?

Why can  i not be everything to everyone? Why can i not be the best submissive and the best friend? Why is life always so hard? Why can i not have everything i love?

Excited!!!

It is looking more and more like i will be out with Mistress MUCH sooner than either one of us expected!!! i am so excited, yet i am super nervous. As any submissive will tell you i am sure, all i want is to please Mistress. i love Her more than i can express. She has brought into my life love, light, pleasure, happiness, contentment, and stability. i know that last one is hard to understand since we are so far apart. But, it is true. i have never felt so safe.
i trust Her. i don't even think i trust my best friend as much. Mistress was the first person i told about all the things my father did to me. She has helped me start to grow into the person i want to be.
Now i really need to get serious. i have been, but now it is becoming more real. i think i am most nervous about disappointing Mistress. But i know with Her there to guide me i can do almost anything!

Is it time to move yet? ;)

Funny :D

Ever had a dream that is just feels SO REAL? i did last night. Unfortunatly, the only thing i remember from it was i was with Mistress and we were playing. i woke up and felt like it truely happened. Then, i go to take my shower and happened to notice a nice bruise on my thigh. Looked just like the bruises i get from Mistress. Made me really happy. Now having a really happy day. Maybe i will have another happy weekend.
Tonight i get to hang with a friend i have not seen in a year. Will definatly be a late night talking and gossiping :D Tomorrow i get to hang out with one of my Geeky friends and we will geek out on some movies :D Then, Sunday i have a 'date' with a friend to watch Despicable Me and have dinner. (i totally love the littlest girl, makes me laugh everytime) As you can see, does not take much to make me happy :D
Hope all you have a happy weekend too!

Cold!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am sitting on my couch in my living room bundled up in my warm fleece pj pants and the warmest sweater ever (Mistress gave it to me, so the knowledge that She used to wear it might be part of why it feels so warm to me). i am also wearing my heating boots (not sure what they are really called. i just call them my boots. They are really fleece sock-like things with microwavable heating pads to keep them warm. (BEST PRESENT EVER!!!). Even with all this i am still cold. Why do you ask? i will tell you. The wind is blowing, the snow is flying, and the ice is crashing. The noise right outside the window is so loud i need the tv volume up more than usual. Remind me why i live in this state?! i hate being cold. The perfect spot to me is where i can be as naked as possible (i know in public it is sometimes frowned upon!) and just be warm. That is no way, no how the description of here and now. :(
Tonight would be the perfect night to go into a warm dungeon and have fun with Mistress. i am wanting to be put in my place by my loving and wonderful Mistress. Why on earth do i live so far away from Her?! i have so many ideas of the fun we could have. And i know She does too!!! He-he!
i have a few ideas for a fictional account of a dungeon scene. Once i finalize my ideas i will share the story with you all :) If it takes me too long, remind me! But no worries, i am excited to share with you, so i am sure it should not take long. :)