Sorry i have not posted in a while. i have been blissfully happy with Mistress. i don't know what i did to deserve Her, but DAMN!!! it must have been good! She is giving me things i want and introducing me to things i did not know i wanted. Do i love everything we do in the playroom? Hell no. But, it is nice that She is helping me through everything.
Even our non-playroom stuff has been fantastic. She took me to Shenendoah yesterday. It was one of the most beautiful places i have ever seen (except for Ireland, of course!!!) We even found the spot that we would like to get married at, if the park will let us. i love that only a few people would be able to go. i like the idea of a small wedding. Mistress said that even if we can't we will go take pictures there. (And before anyone asks, no, we are not engaged. We both just know that soon we will be and we like to talk about it every once in a while. It is nice to know that i have found the One i will marry!)
The only bad thing that has happened? Well, Mistress was in Her "Damn it, I am a Domme and I want to dress like one" mood and had on Her beautiful black heels. She had to go upstairs, and on Her way down . . . Let's just say She scared me half to death. i was trying to not cry in front of Her. i did not want Her to see how scared i truely was. Thankfully, She only badly sprained Her ankle. It could have been SO MUCH worse. But, it has been a week now and She is still icing, stretching, being really carefull, and has to use cructches still. She has been able to walk on it though somewhat, which is HUGE! i am so proud of Her. She has been a tough cookie. i will admit though, it has been nice to wait on Her. It has been somewhat of a crash course for me in how to take care of Her like i should be. i hope to keep being a good girl for Mistress. (i love it when She tells me that!!!)
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Monday, June 6, 2011
Ooops
i was feeling great, relaxed, frisky, and playful last night. i actually asked Mistress if we could play. Even though She made me wait WAY too long ;) we did eventually play a little last night.
She started off with a little fire play, which is something i have been curious to try for a while. Most of it felt great. Only a few times did it get a little too warm, but that was still great! :) Unfortunatly, She only did fire play for a few minutes.
Mistress then asked me if i was willing to give needle play a try. She knows needles freak me a out a little (ok, a lot, but who's counting?), which is why She was kind enough to ask. i could not say no to Her. She has talked about wanting to try it on me for quite a while now. i figured i would be ok.
The putting in of the needles was not horrible. A couple hurt decently, but not enough to make me say "Never again." Mistress, thankfully, only put in five needles. Once they were all in, She rubbed them, which now that i think about it i kinda liked that part. Mistress then proceeded to take them out. i was fine with the first one. The second did not hurt, but i whited out. (my world does not go all black, but is pretty and white, so i never say blacked out.) i had felt myself falling, but could barely talk to let Mistress know. The next thing i knew, Mistress was saying my name in a very scared voice. i knew i was weak, so i put my head on my knees and started to feel better. i asked Mistress what happened. She stated that i had become unresponsive and She had called my name a few times and even slapped my face a couple of times (not hard, but enough that i should have felt it, which i did not.) i knew Mistress was freaked out, even though She tried to hide it. i tried to appologize, but She would have none of it. She said if She had not pressured me into it, i never would have tried it.
Well, Mistress, sorry. You are wrong. :) If i know you want to do something bad enough, i will try it for you. Even if i "know" i will hate it. One never knows if they will hate something until they honestly try it out. i want to make you happy Mistress. Please remember, i am ok. i still think you are worried about me this morning. i love you Mistress. i always will. :D
She started off with a little fire play, which is something i have been curious to try for a while. Most of it felt great. Only a few times did it get a little too warm, but that was still great! :) Unfortunatly, She only did fire play for a few minutes.
Mistress then asked me if i was willing to give needle play a try. She knows needles freak me a out a little (ok, a lot, but who's counting?), which is why She was kind enough to ask. i could not say no to Her. She has talked about wanting to try it on me for quite a while now. i figured i would be ok.
The putting in of the needles was not horrible. A couple hurt decently, but not enough to make me say "Never again." Mistress, thankfully, only put in five needles. Once they were all in, She rubbed them, which now that i think about it i kinda liked that part. Mistress then proceeded to take them out. i was fine with the first one. The second did not hurt, but i whited out. (my world does not go all black, but is pretty and white, so i never say blacked out.) i had felt myself falling, but could barely talk to let Mistress know. The next thing i knew, Mistress was saying my name in a very scared voice. i knew i was weak, so i put my head on my knees and started to feel better. i asked Mistress what happened. She stated that i had become unresponsive and She had called my name a few times and even slapped my face a couple of times (not hard, but enough that i should have felt it, which i did not.) i knew Mistress was freaked out, even though She tried to hide it. i tried to appologize, but She would have none of it. She said if She had not pressured me into it, i never would have tried it.
Well, Mistress, sorry. You are wrong. :) If i know you want to do something bad enough, i will try it for you. Even if i "know" i will hate it. One never knows if they will hate something until they honestly try it out. i want to make you happy Mistress. Please remember, i am ok. i still think you are worried about me this morning. i love you Mistress. i always will. :D
Friday, June 3, 2011
Busy busy busy little bee
Sooooo sorry it has been so long. i have not forgotten about you guys. Everytime i thought about writing, more stuff came up. So. What has been going on in my life? :D Well . . . . . . . . . .
i finally quit the job i was really starting to hate. Then, i packed up my whole life. Most got trashed. Packed up my little 1993 Sundance and i picked up Mistress from the airport. :D :D :D :D We then proceeded to try to drive home. Why did i say try? Well. We made it to Philly and then stopped for the night. Next morning, we had only driven a little ways when my poor little car started to overheat (you would too if you lived your whole life in the frigid Midwest and then was overworked in the hot sun of the beautiful East!!!). Because it was Sunday, nothing was open. We had to wait until the next day. Even though it was Memorial Day, a U-Haul was open. Mistress rented a truck and we hauled my car home. Home. HOME. HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oooops. i forgot one little thing. Ok. Not little. Actually huge, spectacular, colossal, extravegant, wonderful, fantastic . . . . . . :D After i picked up Mistress from the airport, we stopped for breakfast. i could tell She was about to burst from wanting to show/tell me something. We ordered our food and Mistress handed me a small box. . . . . . . . In it was my FREAKIN BEAUTIFUL COLLAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was so happy the moment She put it on me. i still can not get over the joy it brings just touching it and knowing i am loved and wanted.
So. We are happy and safe in OUR home. i have so much to do, but Mistress has kept me so busy :D And no, not just in the playroom. She has taken me to a battlefield where i was able to geek out on all the information. We have gone shopping (finally went to IKEA for the first time, LOVED IT!!!) and we have tons of plans coming up. Looking forward to going to my first wine tasting this weekend.
Promise to be better about keeping you guys updated. Now that stuff is actually happening and i am so happy, i don't think it will be hard :D Hope you guys are as happy as i am right now, we need more happiness in this world!!!
i finally quit the job i was really starting to hate. Then, i packed up my whole life. Most got trashed. Packed up my little 1993 Sundance and i picked up Mistress from the airport. :D :D :D :D We then proceeded to try to drive home. Why did i say try? Well. We made it to Philly and then stopped for the night. Next morning, we had only driven a little ways when my poor little car started to overheat (you would too if you lived your whole life in the frigid Midwest and then was overworked in the hot sun of the beautiful East!!!). Because it was Sunday, nothing was open. We had to wait until the next day. Even though it was Memorial Day, a U-Haul was open. Mistress rented a truck and we hauled my car home. Home. HOME. HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oooops. i forgot one little thing. Ok. Not little. Actually huge, spectacular, colossal, extravegant, wonderful, fantastic . . . . . . :D After i picked up Mistress from the airport, we stopped for breakfast. i could tell She was about to burst from wanting to show/tell me something. We ordered our food and Mistress handed me a small box. . . . . . . . In it was my FREAKIN BEAUTIFUL COLLAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i was so happy the moment She put it on me. i still can not get over the joy it brings just touching it and knowing i am loved and wanted.
So. We are happy and safe in OUR home. i have so much to do, but Mistress has kept me so busy :D And no, not just in the playroom. She has taken me to a battlefield where i was able to geek out on all the information. We have gone shopping (finally went to IKEA for the first time, LOVED IT!!!) and we have tons of plans coming up. Looking forward to going to my first wine tasting this weekend.
Promise to be better about keeping you guys updated. Now that stuff is actually happening and i am so happy, i don't think it will be hard :D Hope you guys are as happy as i am right now, we need more happiness in this world!!!
Monday, May 9, 2011
Excited!!!
In just a few short weeks i will be moving in with Mistress. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
To prepare, We are working on Our contract. It is so much fun to work on this together. We are talking and listening to each others reasons and coming to a compromise. It is wonderful to share this with the most wonderful Woman i have ever met!!! Thank you Mistress!
On top of that, We are looking for my collar. Mistress even thinks We have found it. i hope so! i really really really like it! :D
The only thing that is stressing me out is packing, selling, and packing my car. i know it will all work out but still . . . AH!!!
i can not wait to make my first post from OUR HOUSE!!!
To prepare, We are working on Our contract. It is so much fun to work on this together. We are talking and listening to each others reasons and coming to a compromise. It is wonderful to share this with the most wonderful Woman i have ever met!!! Thank you Mistress!
On top of that, We are looking for my collar. Mistress even thinks We have found it. i hope so! i really really really like it! :D
The only thing that is stressing me out is packing, selling, and packing my car. i know it will all work out but still . . . AH!!!
i can not wait to make my first post from OUR HOUSE!!!
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Mistress
Mistress makes me so happy. She tries to say She is the lucky one. Boy is She wrong. i am so lucky to have Her.
Yesterday She told me how happy She is with me. She stated that i am the girl She has always been looking for. Wow. i was floating on cloud nine for the rest of the night. In fact, i still am!!!
How to describe what Mistress means to me? Here is the quote i gave to Her yesterday:
“Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.”
Mistress seemed happy. She said that She had never experienced that level of devotion. Hopefully, She will never have to worry about that ever again. i plan on being Hers forever. Can one burst from pure happiness? i think i might! :)
Yesterday She told me how happy She is with me. She stated that i am the girl She has always been looking for. Wow. i was floating on cloud nine for the rest of the night. In fact, i still am!!!
How to describe what Mistress means to me? Here is the quote i gave to Her yesterday:
“Do not urge me to leave you or to return from following you. For where you go I will go, and where you lodge I will lodge. Your people shall be my people. Where you die I will die, and there will I be buried. May the Lord do so to me and more also if anything but death parts me from you.”
Mistress seemed happy. She said that She had never experienced that level of devotion. Hopefully, She will never have to worry about that ever again. i plan on being Hers forever. Can one burst from pure happiness? i think i might! :)
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Search
i feel bad for Mistress. i have been off the past few days. She is worried i am second guessing about moving out with Her. That is so far from the truth! She is the reason i get up in the morning. She is my air. i love Her dearly.
my problem? i have been trying to figure that out myself. i think i have finally figured it out. For some reason i have been thinking of my father. Not my daddy. my father.
Not a pity-party. Just facts. Ok? :)
i have been in 14 different school. 11 from Kindergarten and fourth grade. No. i was not a military brat. my father could/would not hold down a job. During this time, my parents kept splitting and then getting back together. i moved from Michigan to North Carolina so many times.
The first time i remember begging my mom to leave him, i was 5. How sad to think even that did not work on my mother. What else could i have done? i know it is not my fault, but sometimes i feel like it is.
Why beg her to leave him? He was, still is, and probably always will be very abusive. Physically, emotionally, sexually. Even knowing most of that, she still won't leave. i have not lived with him since i was 14. i am still dealing with all the pain inside. i don't think he sexually abuses my brothers, at least i hope not. That would kill me.
i want to be there to protect them, and i know i can't. i need to protect myself now. How do i do that? How do i let myself be happy? It is not fair that i am so happy with Mistress when i know that my brothers have no chance. The oldest of them is 22. He has not graduated high school, has no job, and still lives with our parents. Why me? Why can he not be happy? Life just does not seem fair.
How does one find the ability to allow themselves to be happy? i hope Mistress can help me get there. That is the only thing i truly want. To be happy with Mistress. Forever.
my problem? i have been trying to figure that out myself. i think i have finally figured it out. For some reason i have been thinking of my father. Not my daddy. my father.
Not a pity-party. Just facts. Ok? :)
i have been in 14 different school. 11 from Kindergarten and fourth grade. No. i was not a military brat. my father could/would not hold down a job. During this time, my parents kept splitting and then getting back together. i moved from Michigan to North Carolina so many times.
The first time i remember begging my mom to leave him, i was 5. How sad to think even that did not work on my mother. What else could i have done? i know it is not my fault, but sometimes i feel like it is.
Why beg her to leave him? He was, still is, and probably always will be very abusive. Physically, emotionally, sexually. Even knowing most of that, she still won't leave. i have not lived with him since i was 14. i am still dealing with all the pain inside. i don't think he sexually abuses my brothers, at least i hope not. That would kill me.
i want to be there to protect them, and i know i can't. i need to protect myself now. How do i do that? How do i let myself be happy? It is not fair that i am so happy with Mistress when i know that my brothers have no chance. The oldest of them is 22. He has not graduated high school, has no job, and still lives with our parents. Why me? Why can he not be happy? Life just does not seem fair.
How does one find the ability to allow themselves to be happy? i hope Mistress can help me get there. That is the only thing i truly want. To be happy with Mistress. Forever.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Happy?
Yes. i am happy. So why the question mark? Because i am still so far away and Mistress is struggling with stuff at home. Our home. Wow. That feels good.
Anyways, i am struggling with being 800-some miles away. But, Mistress likes to remind me how many days are left everyday. It is so cute!!! i feel loved and wanted everytime She does that. She REALLY wants me! So, yes. i am SUPER DUPER happy. :D Everything else is actually working themselves out. Just waiting right now for a call from Mistress to hear how the next thing has worked out. i am sure it will be fine. Right?
Anyways, i am struggling with being 800-some miles away. But, Mistress likes to remind me how many days are left everyday. It is so cute!!! i feel loved and wanted everytime She does that. She REALLY wants me! So, yes. i am SUPER DUPER happy. :D Everything else is actually working themselves out. Just waiting right now for a call from Mistress to hear how the next thing has worked out. i am sure it will be fine. Right?
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