Crying

So. One of my friends found out that Mistress is a T-Girl. Not definitively, and she does not know the term (i come from a very conservative Christian background, most of my friends right now are). She is trying to talk me into dropping Mistress. my friend does not even know about my lifestyle decision even! After my conversation with her, which i have to say i did lie to her, i am crying my eyes out. If i do not look like i have "dropped" Mistress to everyone she very well could tell all my other friends. i still live around many of them. To put it quite simply, my life will become a LIVING HELL!!! What do i do? i want to move out with Mistress but that is not fesible right now. i am so upset i can not even put into words what i am feeling. What to say? What to do? i am hurting so bad.