i have discovered something about myself. Let me start this by stating that i suffer with recurrent depression. i have suffered with this since around junior high. So long enough to know some of my triggers.
Now on to my discovery. Last night i was a little down, which should have clued me in but i was tired. When Mistress called, i simply answered with "Hey!" mostly because i was already down. Mistress, thankfully, only corected me to say say at least "Hey Maam." Just the simple act of correcting me sent me deep down into depression. This morning i am fighting it with all i have. i hope to beat it before i speak to Mistress later.
i now know that i need to avoid correction and be the best sub/slave i can be. Not only to make Mistress happy and serve Her, but also to keep my sanity.
i am a submission through and through. If i fail, i feel it internally more than most people. i want to serve Mistress with all i have and all i am. i love Her with my whole soul. i am Hers. i will make Her proud. That is my New Year's Resolution. It is for both of us.
take solice in knowing that you are doing the best you can. Don't let anything get you down. You may think your not good enough but to most people even the mere fact that you are trying means your good enough. If you love and care for each other as much as you say you do, the mere slip of not saying ma'am is forgivable. Hang in there you are good enough.
ReplyDeleteThank you SO much! Your kind comments have seriously made my day. Mistress totally understands and is so loving and tender to me.
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