How many of my friends and family know about me being in this lifestyle? One. 1. Count them . . . Uno. And even she does not know the extent i am in it. i am toying with the fact that i want to tell her more. Why you ask? i have friends on fetlife who support me. Why does she need to know too? She is my best friend. She loves me no matter what. It is one of the most frustrating things not being able to tell her about it.
i still have not totally decided what i am going to tell her. i know she will love me anyways. i just do not want to worry her. She does not understand Mistress like i do. She does not know that i now crave Mistress to show me my place. How do you explain to people out in the vanilla world the desires and fulfillment of those desires?
i know i can explain the service part of my submissivness. That is the easy part. The joy i have knowing i have made Mistress's life easier just by getting her a glass of water, fixing supper, cleaning the house. i have never felt more at home and at peace than when i am serving Mistress. That is one of many reasons why i know this relationship can work. We seem to complete each other. Mistress is so kind and loving to me i just wanna burst from happiness each time she looks at me. The gratefullness in her speech after i have been a good little girl is intoxicating.
Mistress's is the only opinion that matters anymore. It is weird to realize that. So, why you ask, do other's opinions hurt? Remember "sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me"? Total vicious lies we tell our children. i know. Hurtful words hurt. But, i choose to listen to Mistress. She is my world now. i love Her. If She says i will be fine, i know i can be . . . with Her help.
Maybe i am not frustrated anymore :)
Its amazing how every one lives with the cliche statement that I tell my best friend everything. Thought in all actuality we keep the ones we love in the most dark. I live with the theory that when people are simple digital characters on the web its way easier to open up to them then people in our daily lives whom we care about so much. If your friend doesnt really need to know then my question is why tell her? Does your mom need to know about your lifestyle or your roommates? No, then why tell them. You are happy, no one can deny you that. Dont let the potential freak out of a vanilla person and loss of a friendship take that away from you, unless it is needed. You are an amazing person and have accomplished alot, dont keep yourself form accomplishing this.
ReplyDeletei know what you mean about wanting to tell your friend about you and your Mistress. Keeping things like that to yourself can make them feel almost like a "dirty little secret". i agree with Gesus Oliver about your mom or roommates not needing to know but if you and your best friend have the kind of relationship where you feel comfortable sharing anything i say tell her. It is one thing to have online friends but what happens if god forbid something happened between you and Mistress and you needed a shoulder to cry on? If your friend didn't know the extent of the relationship she wouldn't necessarily offer you the support you would need.
ReplyDeletei'm not sure how helpful my tidbit has been for you but hopefully it provided you with some food for thought.
On an unrelated note, my Madam and i have a blog about our D/s journey as well, you should check it out sometime... maybe we could start following each other?